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发表于 2007-6-11 12:19
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Luv2Me
[more]IP: Logged Posts: 14 Group: New Member Joined: Aug 2002 Status: OFFLINEMake Buddy | PM User
Hi there. I'm currently in my first interracial relationship. I'm white and Jewish, and I'm dating a Chinese guy.We have a lot in common... in fact, I'm taking Mandarin Chinese (unfortunately he speaks Cantonese, but no matter) and started even before I met him. I'm studying East Asian Studies in university, and so is he. We've got a lot in common, and my parents accept him (although they wish he was Jewish) and his mother really likes me.I rarely see other couples like us, though... usually it's an Asian girl with a white guy. I'm wondering if there's anyone else like me out there?
Lethe
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Hey Luv2Me,There are other white female/Asian male couples, though I agree, I don't see many wandering the streets, either. I'm pretty sure there are several on here...My fiance is Korean-American, and I'm a Dutch/German -descended Midwestern girl. I'm not entirely clear on why the disparity between AF/WM couples and WF/AM couples exists, though I've heard a lot of theories about it, ranging from the reasonable to the insane - someone once warned me in all seriousness that Asian men's penises were too small to satisfy a white woman (and NO this isn't true, duh). I've also been warned that they were all inherently sexist (also untrue). But then again, with these kinds of stupid questions wandering around, no wonder... --Lethe.
shanshiyi
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I understand that situation you mentioned coz white girls are usually slightly bigger and taller than some Asian guys so it doesn't look compatible to each other. ANd usually bigger girls want to date guys who are bigger or taller than them.But In Hong Kong, I witness many White girls date Chinese -look guys as many as White guys date Chinese -look girls. Chinese guys in university- days are still slim but they will become physicially bigger after 24 or 25. They can be compatible to white girls then.P.S. My male friends go to high school in the US and they all did once and some still are dating White girl-clasmates. Probably teenager girls do not care about body size.
Luv2Me
[more]IP: Logged Posts: 14 Group: New Member Joined: Aug 2002 Status: OFFLINEMake Buddy | PM User
Hi there! Thanks for the replies. I know that there's a stereotype of Asian men's penises being smaller (which isn't true, as far as I know)... and I know that on a whole, Asian men are shorter/smaller than white or black men, which might be an issue to some women. But I'm 5'4" and average to slim (size 6-8) and at my age, there aren't many guys, including Asian guys, who are smaller than me! My boyfriend is 5'6" and actually has a quite nice, broad-shouldered build and is quite a bit larger than me.Glad to hear I'm not alone, though. Oh, and as for the whole "all Asian men are sexist" thing... my guy treats me a million times better than I've ever been treated by any other guy in my life. He's a treasure sweetie-pai, why don't your parents accept you dating an asian man?
Lethe
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Sweetie-pai:I was the one who posted that stereotype - I've heard it before, especially after I started seeing my fiance. Stereotypes of course have nothing to do with actual people and I think they have everything to do with the ideas people have pinned on the "other" so they can escape how those ideas show up in their own lives.I referred to those blanket statements because they were so obviously untrue, and sometimes it's easier to just laugh...I don't know about the height thing - there are a lot of short white women and tall Asian guys. It doesn't seem like enough reason to me, but my fiance's 5'10" and although he's not built hugely or anything, I'm 5'6" and he's noticeably larger than I am (which is a nuisance when I'm trying to tickle him).I'm also sorry about your man's parents, sweetie - do you have to see them very often?--Lethe
Kudarina
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About the stereotype, that's all it is; a stereotype. It's not true. I am engaged to a chinese guy and he is of perfectly normal "size".And either way, why should "size" matter? If it's true love, it shouldn't make a difference.Well, you are certainly not alone on this one. I am in the EXACT position as you only I am a white Christian; not Jewish ^.^Unfortunetly, I have lost a lot of respect for his father through out this relationship. He has not only made me feel like crap but has insulted my own mother as well. One thing I have learned about Asian men (And this is in NO way meant to be a racist comment) is that they have very short, quick and nasty tempers. I don't mind his mother; she is extremly nice. But I'm not to fond of his father. I can only hope my Fianc'ee doens't turn out to be like that. Does anyone by any chance have the same problem as me or know what I am talking about? Please speak up if so that way I will know I am not alone on this ^-^;;;
Lethe
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Hi Kudarina,I know you said you didn't mean it to be racist, but aren't you generalizing a bit by saying that all Asian men have short tempers? That seems more likely to be a family thing.My fiance has a long, long fuse, for example - much longer than mine. Once he does get angry, it's a bit of a disaster (me too, to be fair) but it takes a while, and his father is the same way. (So is my father, for that matter). When I asked him what he thought of this statement, he said he could think of several guy friends with nasty tempers and several without, and he didn't see it as universal at all, but individual.And I don't want to touch the beginnings of a "size does/doesn't matter" argument with a ten-foot virtual pole.... --Lethe
Kudarina
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I think you are both a little confused on what I said. I neither stereotyped nor contradicted myself in that statement. Please let me explain what I meant. First of all, I would like to state that I have known many asian people over my life time and the times that I have witnessed them angry it was almost frightening and yes this DOES include my Fianc'ee. He too has a very bad and nasty temper. The difference between him and his father is that he knows how to control it. What I meant by I hope he never grows up to be like his dad is that I hope he never treats people the way his father does. In my lifetime of meeting and getting to know people of all different cultures, some of the Asian's I have met have been the nicest people I have ever known. Anger is an emotion that all Human's have and some of us have different ways of expressing it and dealing with it. Arrogance is not. With all do respect, please think very carefully about what you read before you respond =)
Kudarina
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I'M easily insulted? Sorry my friend, but for your info, I wasn't insulted at all. I was "clarifying" myself as you so asked. You're right, this is an open forum and an open forum does call for all people to put their input in. But you took my first post the wrong way and if you had taken the time to think about it, perhapes you would of seen what I was getting at and you wouldn't of been so offended. And you obviously were otherwise you wouldn't of typed that three page report about how disrespectful people are to other cultures - something that was completly away from my topic and wasn't needed in your response to me. As for your remark "if you are so easily insulted,maybe you shouldn't be posting here" why don't you practice what you preach.
Luv2Me
[more]IP: Logged Posts: 14 Group: New Member Joined: Aug 2002 Status: OFFLINEMake Buddy | PM User
Oy vey, people, cut it out! As for the "Asian guys have bad tempers" thing, I can personally attest that my boyfriend has a VERY slow temper, and even then, he doesn't have much of one. He grew up without a father figure and with a mother who was very stirct and borderline abusive with him, as was the rest of his family. Because of that, he's learned to put up with a lot and he does everything in his power to make sure he DOESN'T treat anyone else the way he's been treated in the past.Anyway, can we not fight anymore please? It's totally non-productive.
pinklaces
[more] IP: Logged Posts: 1 Group: New Member Joined: Sep 2006 Status: OFFLINE Make Buddy | PM User
I fell in love with a asian guy in my mid twenties. I am a Russian American, came to the states during high school. I thought American men (white guys) would be gentlmen and heros. Boy was I wrong ! I stopped dating for a few years then accidently met my current boy friend. A asian guy about 14 years older (and wiser then me). And just to set things straight, he wasnt chaing young skirts, I chased him and it took almost a year to get his attention. As for the negative rumors. I know exactly where they start from. They start from white guys who are jealous and are perpetuated by asian girls who don't want to share asian guys with other girls. Several asian girls (classmates) started taking a interest in me just after I met my boy friend. They did nothing but try to discourage me from dating asian men by saying those exact rumors. Ladies, if you haven't lived in Europe you don't know yet what sexist men really are!!!! And as for the white american guys, they are exactly the reason why I left the dating seen for several years. They just cannt hold their ****s in their pants. Sleeping with every girl they can, especially asian girls. My last white boy friend was sleeping with over 20 asian girls while he was dating me !!! For a while I really hated asians, but this characteristics don't seem to extend to the asian males as I found out. They are a lot more work, family and home orientated then white guys. If my asian boy friend says he'll be home for dinner, he will be home and if he says he is studying at the library, surely enough he is. Just one thing, his mom isnt too crazy about the idea of a white girl dating his son... sigh... my dad on the other hand is dancing for joy I am not dating a russian guy. Figure?!?!? But then again my dad worked for Nasa and is considered a genius, so who am I to second guess him. I am sure we'll be getting married soon. Knock on wood I dont screw anything up.
SadSadSonia
[more]IP: Logged Posts: 13 Group: New Member Joined: Jan 2003 Status: OFFLINEMake Buddy | PM User
Umm Umm, well I can't say that I am white. I am hispanic, born in Houston, Texas, of spanish decent, parents from Mexico. In college, I dated a vietnamese guy for 3 years. Though I never met his parents, he met my mom, and my mom loved him, still does! After him, I dated another vietnamese male. He was much taller and more built, 5'8", more american. I am about 5'3". I dated him for about 2 years, met his mom, she was very polite. Though she was nice to me, I am sure she preferred I were vietnamese. This second guy never met my parents (mom). I am currently single. In my opinion, the most important thing in an interracial relationship is the way the two individuals feel about each other. When it comes down to it, if two people really care about one another, parents, friends, and other issues are unimportant. The only thing that matters is love! With that, you can go anywhere!---------- |
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