笑一笑^_^

1：某次英文考试有两道题目：
（1）我穿上外套，却发现第一个扣子掉了。
（2）他听见电话铃响，就过去接了电话。
正确答案应为：
（1）I put on my coat and found its first button was gone.
（2）As soon as he heard the phone ringing, he went to pick it up.
但是某生的答案是：
（1）Shit!
（2）Hello?
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2：小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?
老师说：Go ahead.
小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?
老师说：Go ahead.
小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊!
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3：话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM 后羿！」
B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM 丘比特！」
轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」
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4：某男，亦粗通英文，至使馆，有表要填，有一栏是：Sex，该男思之久已，毅然下笔：“Once a week”。
签证官观后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.”
该男顿时赧颜，思之，填下“female”，官楞之，曰：“shouldn’t it be male?”男急释曰：“I am a normal man, so I .. with female.
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5。\"Daddy? How did I come into this world?\"
\"Well, my child, some day I\'ll have to tell you anyway.\"
\"So why not today? Please!\"
\"OK, but listen carefully.\"
\"Mom and Dad met each other in a cyber cafe.
In the restrooms of that cyber cafe,dad connected to mom.
Mom at that time made some downloads from dad\'s memory stick.
When dad finished uploading we discovered we used no firewall.
Since it was too late to cancel or delete,
nine months later we ended up with a virus.\"
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